That belief generates huge power

During my Bible reading, I found myself ticked off over Exodus 3:12
.
Moses, desperate for proof that his venture would pay off and not end in total disaster, had just asked God, "Why me? What makes you think I could ever go to Pharoah and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?"
God replies, "I'll be with you, and this will be the proof that I'm the one who sent you. When you have brought my people out of Egypt, you will worship God right here at this very mountain (Mount Horeb)"

My first thought was, That's not proof! It's just crazy. He's fobbing Moses off. The reason it annoyed me is that I was sure it wasn't the sort of response Moses was looking for. If I'd been in Moses' position, my first reaction might have been, What a cop-out. When I studied God's choice of words, I figured out why. When I ask somebody for proof, I prefer it to come before I launch out on a limb risking everything rather than after. When you are offered something which will come down the track as proof, you can never be one hundred percent sure that it will actually materialise, can you?

Taking my life as an example, I know which sort of proof I would have preferred before launching out and printing 2000 copies of my early book, Picking up the Pieces back in 2000. Someone could tell me, "Take-a-Chance bookshop has pledged to buy 1500 straight out and heavily promote them and here's the paperwork already signed," or they could tell me, "Here's the proof. When this book is published, you'll look at the cover and thank God for His help."  I would've chosen the first over the second any day. (In fact, I would've even appreciated, "By 2012, you'll have 8 novels published so far, 2 more on the way, the support of a very competent publisher and friend and a network of other like-minded authors you've never even heard of yet." I didn't even get that, but it's all come to pass)

Maybe it all ties in with the saying, "Unbelief says 'I'll believe it when I see it' while true faith says, 'I'll see it when I believe it.'" The more I pondered this, the more it dawned on me that my initial reaction to what God told Moses was faulty. I've seen countless examples from the Bible and life of the way things never seem to work out until we believe with all our hearts that they will. I've also seen the principle backed up by science. The placebo effect is a well-known example. Thousands of people with all sorts of maladies have recovered on sugar pills which they've firmly believed are powerful medications. Christian believers have experienced seemingly miraculous healings and provisions of all kinds when they've trusted with their whole hearts in sayings of Jesus such as, "Anything is possible to the one who believes."

So perhaps God wasn't being mean and stingy when he told Moses that the proof would come after he'd led the people of Egypt. It was a great promise for Moses to hold onto. He could take courage that things would have to go to plan for the people to get to Mount Horeb to worship Him there. Instead of a nasty big brother, nyah nyah, you'll just have to wait, sort of thing, Moses could have taken it as a magnificent promise of grace, which it appears he did, when we read the results. During all those fruitless meetings with stubborn Pharoah, all the plagues and bouts of animosity from his own people, he was able to remind himself, "I know we'll make it out of Egypt because God's given me something to hold onto. We're all going to stand and worship at Mount Horeb. He's promised."

Perhaps the best thing we can do, in the light of all the promises we can find and claim for ourselves in the scriptures we claim to believe, is to actually believe them, in spite of our longing for early evidence. Have I believed that Christian fiction will take off in Australia in the face of bookshops saying, "We're not certain it's worth promoting"? Have I believed that my kids will one day find themselves fulfilling work and supportive spouses? Have I believed that my every need will be supplied for every stage of my life? I'm convinced that if the answer has any traces of, "No, I'm scared," I'll have to get actively onto it and hold tight to the promises I've set my heart to believe.

to accept the consequences of my decisions

9th May, 1992

9th May, 1992

Not exactly May 9th, 2012 but not all that long ago.

On Wednesday May 9th, Andrew and I celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary. We let it slide past because we were in the middle of moving house. We did have a sit down breakfast at McDonalds and then took loads of old no-goods to the dump. That was our anniversary but I spent a bit of time reflecting on the twenty years that have passed since 1992. I don't feel old enough to have been married for twenty years until I remember that our oldest child is seventeen.

So I took a quiet moment or two to reflect on what I have done in this time. Basically, I had three children and wrote seven novels. Then I think back to how it might have been. We could have had a lot more money than we do. I'd started a GradDip in Education that year and sort of expected to be a High School English teacher. Andrew was the accountant at the Stirling District Hospital. His boss was nearing retirement age and mentioned that Andrew might have a good chance of being in line for his job as CEO if he was willing to do a part time Uni course to give him all the necessary skills.

Imagine if I'd been an English teacher and Andrew had been the Stirling Hospital CEO. We'd never run out of money. No days waiting for centrelink payments which tend to be just under what we need to get by. We'd be able to make impulse buys and go to interesting, exotic places for holidays. We might have had a house paid off by now. That's what might have been.

Instead of that scenario, neither of us enjoyed our courses and both decided to quit. I became a homeschooling mum and author of novels and he's been many things, the latest of which is a music student at Adelaide University. I was trying to figure out whether I ought to have regrets, and although there is room for a few, there are not many. A book with some great common-sense chapters I read recently reminded me that every decision we make has consequences which we need to accept.

If we're not willing to accept the effects brought about by our choices, we need to re-examine our options and try some other alternatives. If we find we don't want to choose different options, then we need to accept our circumstances. Am I happy renting, not being able to buy the kids great things whenever they fancy them and being unable to holiday in America or Europe? Well, I guess the answer is yes, if I get to keep on homeschooling and writing. Would I have been happy as an English teacher? I'm sure the answer is a definite "NO"

The book told me, "Many people feel secretly comfortable stuck at a dead end and stepping outside your comfort zone can be quite overwhelming. If you find yourself feeling this way, remind yourself that it's your life. You don't have to change it if you don't want to. But if you do decide to leave things as they are, then you must choose to accept your current situation. If you can say, 'I've considered other options and I'm going to accept this situation,' then your sense of contentment will increase."

So I sat back after twenty years of marriage taking this advice and found that it does work. I wouldn't have imagined this for myself back in 1992 when I was 22, but I've been happy with it. We've stayed true to our values and it seems those values have been focused around creativity and living each moment to the full rather than postponing desire gratification, working 9 to 5 days, paying off mortgages and marching to the beat of drums set by others.

Yes, it's been a good twenty years.

that good change may be sudden

Joseph woke up in his dungeon prison one morning as he had every day for years. On this day, something unexpected happened taking him completely off guard. The prison guards came to fetch him, saying, "We've heard you have the ability to interpret dreams. Our great Pharoah has been puzzled by vivid dreams which none of the magicians and sages can fathom."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Joseph was running off for a quick haircut, shave and change of clothes. What a stroke of unexpected blessing because when he'd tried to do all he could on his own behalf, it seemed to be in vain. He'd interpreted the dream of a cup bearer who was reinstated to Pharoah's service and asked the man to put in a good word for him.

The cup bearer said, "Yeah, sure, mate," and promptly forgot all about him. It's natural for human nature to be tied up with our own affairs. Joseph was not the first or last person to learn this. A full two years later, when a need arose, the cup bearer suddenly remembered. "Oh, yeah, there's a young Hebrew guy down in the dungeon who might be able to help. I'd forgotten all about him."

So Joseph experienced what must surely be one of the most awesome promotions in history; from the dungeons to second in charge of the country. Although none of our sudden promotions or stroke of favour may ever be as dramatic as Joseph's, have you ever noticed a similar pattern in your own life?

You might have exhausted yourself doing all sorts of research, PR work or racing about trying to make good things happen. You might have done your utmost to interest people in your special cause but all to no avail. I've noticed that life often has a way of providing sudden, awesome surprises. It seems to be one of God's favourite ways of working in the lives of His people.

* I met my future husband when I was a Uni student back in 1991. My brother-in-law, who worked at the same place, introduced me to him. It all worked out, in spite of me checking out and possibly trying to impress other guys at Uni or youth group, wondering how to ever find 'the one'. (A more complete version of this story is here on my friend Rita's blog.)

* In autumn 2003, everything changed extremely suddenly from the lifestyle pattern we'd established. I decided to homeschool my children, my husband, Andrew, made a separate decision to quit working as an accountant and I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. Instead of the usual commute to school and work we'd anticipated, we found ourselves setting off in a caravan to explore the eastern states with a 9-year-old, a 5-year-old and a 2-month-old baby.

Some more of those sudden new things have taken place just this year, 2012. On January 1st, I expected it to be just the same writing and homeschooling life as usual. My oldest son, 17-year-old Logan, started studying year 12 and we thought that would be the biggest event of the year. Not so at all (although it might be for him). I'll just mention a few others.

* One day as I was doing a check of Face Book's news feed, I saw a post about a romance novel which was a collaboration by four American authors. I felt a light switch on in that part of my brain that tells me whenever something is exciting and worth pursuing. After mulling over the idea myself, the enthusiasm just got bigger, so I sent a message to three other authors I know and whose works I enjoy, suggesting the idea that we do something similar for the Australian market. To my delight, they were all keen to jump on board. The result has been a fun project unlike anything any of us have done before. We're not far away from the end of our first draft, although there's still plenty of work to do after that.

* Next week, my family is moving into a new home. It was entirely out of the blue. As the children have grown, the rental property we've lived in since our return from our holiday in 2004 has been growing less and less ideal but we've been assuming it's all we can afford. Now, as it happens, our nephew is looking for somewhere new to live and just before Easter my sister sent me a link to a new property not far from ours. As we walked through I had that same light turn on in my brain as I had with the collaboration idea. I knew it would be perfect for us. Just a few weeks later, after filling in paper work and trying to organise other things, we'll be able to make a fresh start in a larger, more comfortable and suitable home.

Have you similar stories to tell? Chance encounters with people who turned out to be spouses or best friends? Sudden new ideas which prompted new career directions? I think we're given a clue in the pages of the Bible that we can expect occurrences like this to happen. Psalm 37:23 tells us, "The steps of a good man (or woman) are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his (or her) way." I like the assurance that being in the right place at the right time to make the right connections or get the right ideas doesn't depend solely on me. And I appreciate that little light switch in the brain He provides to help me know when I'm on the right track.

That we never know what's in store.

The Bible is full of heroes of faith, but although this instance may be overlooked at times, I can't help thinking one of the most stirring speeches is found in Genesis 44: 18-34, from a man we don't necessarily think of as a hero. It is Judah's plea to the governor of Egypt to allow his youngest brother, Benjamin, to return home to their father and take him as a slave in his stead. Little does anyone know, the governor happens to be their own brother, Joseph. I'll recap some of what Judah said in the language of The Message Bible, which is so easy to relate to.

"... Can't you see that if I show up before your servant, my father, without the boy, this son with whom he is so bound up, the moment he realizes the boy is gone he'll die on the spot... So let me stay here as your slave, not this boy. Let the boy go back with his brothers. How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? Oh, don't make me go back and watch my father die in grief!"

What an awesome, sacrificial offer from a man who cared deeply for his elderly father. No wonder it was at this point that Joseph caved in, gave way to tears and revealed his identity. We have no way of knowing for sure how long he intended to keep toying with them but Judah's words penetrated straight to Joseph's heart.

Is Judah the sort of guy we think of when we want to teach our kids some great examples? Well, not really. An earlier incident with his daughter-in-law did not show him up in the best light (Genesis 38), and besides that, he was overshadowed by his half-brother. Joseph was the one with the snazzy, multi-coloured coat and the amazing prophetic dreams. He was the one with such a great story, we make movies about him. Joseph was the son of their father's favourite wife. Jacob never seemed to make any attempt to conceal his favouritism of Rachel's boys from his other sons. "I'll not let you take Benjamin because then, if anything happens to him, I'll have nothing left!" Well, that made it clear to the other ten where they stood. And knowing this, Judah still had the loyalty to make his plea to the governor.

I love it that God valued and appreciated that streak of heroism deep within Judah. He, not Joseph, was destined to be the father of the kingly lineage which included such heroes as Kings David, Solomon, Hezekiah and Josiah. Most wonderful of all, he turned out to be that son of Jacob; the one who was set apart to be the ancestor of Jesus, our Lord and Saviour. I guess anyone around at the time who'd got a glimpse of God's plan might've been forgiven for saying, "Well, I'll be! I was certain it would be Joseph." But Jesus was called the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, not the Lion of the tribe of Joseph.

I guess the moral of Judah's story is that the spotlight and accolades aren't necessarily a sign of what God plans to do through you. You don't have to be the focal point of attention to make a tremendous difference in the world. I'm thankful for faithful plodders like Judah, the unsung heroes who have such awesome futures.

That we may be prouder than we think

"God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" James 4:6

As the world we see around us rewards those it deems great and brilliant, this is a very challenging verse. Sometimes I think I may have to strive harder and pray more often to break through barriers when it never occurs to me that I may simply be experiencing 'resistance', for pride pops up any time and doesn't necessarily look like what we might expect.

Who appears humble by the world's standards? Those who are soft spoken, hesitate to look you in the eye and don't bignote themselves? I was born socially awkward and may tick all these boxes. In the past, people have called me 'unassuming'. They've said I need to speak up about my accomplishments. But what if all this is based on pride just as much as the arrogant and supercilious who strut around in their lofty positions of self-confidence?

Both extremes may be fraught with pride. Basically, they're both attitudes that comes from relying on yourself and your own inner resources to get by. Instead of regarding pride as a dangerous path to tread, the world actually encourages it by congratulating such people as the 'self-made millionaire.' Bottom line - as long as you are occupied with self, you have a problem with pride.

True humility is knowing that you can't possibly succeed without God's help, but with Him, all things are possible. It's great when God gets full glory which can't happen when we struggle and strive. The problem is, thinking and behaving with pride is so ingrained in our thought patterns, we may feel as if we're floundering when we're actually in a good position as far as God's concerned.

Moses was said to be 'great in might' for the first 40 years of his life when he was strutting about Egyptian palaces, known as the son of Pharoah's daughter. Those Egyptian prince days aren't talked about much. Perhaps they were proud, self-reliant years when he couldn't be used by God because he was too full of himself. God didn't approach Moses with a mighty task until he was a broken man, pushing sheep around in the desert, having given up on that used to fill his lifestyle.

It's interesting when we take the time to examine our motives. King Hezekiah showed a visiting dignitary through his entire palace and armoury, giving him the grand tour. He was surprised and nervous by the rebuke he got from the prophet Isaiah, who was God's mouthpiece at the time. I had the same reaction when I read it. "Hey, I didn't really see that as showing off! He was just trying to be a friendly host." But the impression I got didn't stand up against what God knew was in Hezekiah's heart.

It's easy for us to put the best possible spin on our own motives and even convince ourselves that it is true. We might fool ourselves, we might fool others too, but if there's any pride-based desire to seek the admiration and approval of others, He knows. This is no trifling matter as it may even set us back in the attitude of earning our place in heaven through works instead of grace, a place no Christian wants to find themselves.

How do we operate when we're actually coming from a place of humility? I think the heaviness and care is lifted from our shoulders. Those hang-ups about lack of support and acknowledgment no longer matter. Humility is hard thing to set about acquiring, because as we all know, whenever we get to a place where we feel we can state, "Here I am, humble at last!" we have to go right back to the start!

I'll finish with this great prayer I found by Mother Teresa.

Deliver me, O Jesus,
From the desire of being loved
From the desire of being extolled
From the desire of being honoured
From the desire of being praised
From the desire of being preferred
From the desire of being consulted
From the desire of being approved
From the desire of being popular

From the fear of being humiliated
From the fear of being despised
From the fear of suffering rebukes
From the fear of being calumniated
From the fear of being forgotten
From the fear of being wronged
From the fear of being ridiculed
From the fear of being suspected

Mother Teresa

To focus more on my own destiny than anyone elses

One person in the Bible who has always intrigued me is Ishmael, the son of Abraham and Hagar, Sarah's slave girl. Sometimes I think I could write a 'faction' book about him. Although scripture doesn't delve into his thought processes, I find it easy to imagine how this boy might have ticked. Lavish attention was being poured on a new baby, reminding him that he himself was merely the son of a servant. He would have caught the whispers, Isaac is the baby God intended all along and Ishmael was just a big mistake. Whatever were they thinking? Finally Sarah, his father's beloved wife, swept through and commanded, "He can't have any share in the inheritance with my son! Send them packing!" I find it easy to understand why Ishmael might have felt inclined to poke a few jibes at Isaac.

Of course it had to be this way. We must know we are accepted by God through favour and grace (which Isaac represents) and not through effort and human works (which Ishmael represents). This is the crux of the Christian message. To leave Ishmael growing up around the place along with Isaac would have made things messily complicated; even seriously undermining the Bible's message. (I wonder how he would've felt to know that he was destined to be singled out as a mistake not only in his own lifetime but for eternity!)

I think the key is to remember that Ishmael was not ignored by God. The plan in question just wasn't meant for him. He was not the son of Abraham who was destined to be the ancestor of the Israelites and ultimately Jesus; that was Isaac. I think there is an ideal plan for each of us and when we start peering over to see what's happening in the lives of others; that's when we can start letting those horribly frustrated, bitter, jealous feelings twist our insides. You see, it's none of our business.

In the life of Moses (Numbers 16 and 17), a gang of indignant rebels accused him and Aaron of over-stepping themselves by appointing Aaron High Priest of the people. I can imagine them murmuring, He gives the plummy jobs to his brother. Well, we won't take that lying down! I love the vivid proof God gave that they were out of line. He decreed that a representative from each of Israel's 12 tribes were to place a wooden staff before the altar and promised that He would cause the rod of the chosen man to bud. Aaron put his rod forward as the representative from the tribe of Levi. Not only did Aaron's staff pop out buds and blossoms but even a few almonds! Aaron's staff had been a dead twig, just like the 11 others, but the point is that God had chosen him as the man for that job; and that was it. No complaining or accusations of favouritism from the others made any difference.

Back to Ishmael's plight; God cared for him and had a perfect plan. I appreciate it that the Angel of God appeared twice to his mother, Hagar, but never once to Sarah (that was ever recorded). What a gracious bit of evidence that He cares for the downtrodden and those the world may call inferior. As Ishmael grew up, Hagar always had those promises that God would bless her son and make him the father of a great nation.

I'm sure it was for Ishmael's own good to be sent away from Abraham's household. Without Isaac always dogging his footsteps and reminding him of all that was not to be his, he could get his mind focused on the plan God did have for him, which was considerable. In spite of thinking of himself as second fiddle, I love the short verse Genesis 21:20 in The Message. It says, "God was on the boy's side as he grew up." I like to think the fact that Ishmael was able to be blessed and prospered this way is a sign to us that he escaped from the pattern of bitterness that could have entrenched him. And I like the lesson he teaches us, which is to move into our own plans, not hung-up on anyone else's, and be content.

To speak silver and gold words instead of alloys

I've no doubt we're living in the era of the positive affirmation. A glance at the self-help section of our libraries and book shops makes this clear. Best-sellers on this topic abound, from the writings of Louise L Hay to "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and her team of experts. Others with similar themes, such as "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill have been around long enough to attain 'classic' status. This is the thinking climate those of my generation have grown up in and publishers are still churning them out.

For years, I'd studied these books carefully. I'd decided the theory behind them made sense. In a nutshell, if your conscious mind is bombarded with a beneficial message over and over, your subconscious mind will eventually be worn down to join the party too. Furthermore the metaphysical theory behind this tells us that we attract similar vibrations (or vibes) to those which we subconsciously give out. The world is our mirror, so to speak. If we think prosperously, prosperity will be drawn to us. Although some fellow Christians seemed to think this dodgy and new-agey, I thought it seemed harmless enough for me to give it a go.

My books are best-sellers.
My kids are clever and polite. (They'd tell you that one IS true)
We are able to travel overseas.
By dd/mm/yy I will have an extra $20 000 in my bank account.
We own a 2-storey home with a stunning view and my own study (LOL)
We never scrape the bottom of our bank account (ROFL)

So what happened? The same thing that happened whenever I tried planting seeds in my garden. I don't have a green thumb. Mostly, my plants would give a half-hearted spurt of growth and then bite the dust. People would say things like, "You should've fertilised them with blood and bones/chook manure/cow manure ... kept the harsh cook manure away from them... tried putting them in a more open/more sheltered position, planted them during the summer/winter, etc." To summarize all this, I didn't have a clue. So I assumed that the paltry returns on my affirmations meant that I was clueless there too.

I believe that was true, in a way I didn't expect. In a thought-provoking article by American pastor, Tom Brown, he remarked that our world has become like Babylon, using the messages of confession to get what it wants. People are using Biblical truth principles (I knew it was all based on truth!) in a very watered-down and limited manner. I'd been right. I spent all that time trying to plant seeds without giving them the quality of water, fertiliser and sunlight they really needed. Clueless!

His article went on to explain that the affirmations we speak must be found within the pages of our Bibles; God's Word to us. This is the only word which is still as pristine and powerful as it originally was during the creation of the world. The words spoken by men and women who are spouting the 'affirmations of the day' from these books have lost part of the original 'punch' they contained before the Fall. They are perishable and often likely to fizzle out. When we speak out our own dreams, imaginings and desires as affirmations without checking to see whether they line up with God's words, we might fail to receive what we're believing for because our words are weaker, like metal alloys whose quality can't be trusted. God's Word, on the other hand, is still like the most pure, flawless gold and silver.

It's not the mere positive confession per se, which brings results into our lives but the confession of God's words. My days of declaring and confessing just anything that sounded good and expecting it to come to pass are over. God's Word hasn't promised to give me a specific sum of money by a certain date or a house with a view or a new car. This is just getting greedy and jumping beyond what His word promises.

What He has promised is to be my healer (Exodus 15: 26), supply all my needs (Philippians 4:19), finish the good work He started in me (Philippians 1:6), surround me with favour as a shield (Psalm 5:12) and bless the work of my hands (Psalm 90: 17), among many other things. Charles H. Spurgeon said that whenever God has made a promise, we can reasonably expect Him to make it good. This has nothing to do with metaphysics, manipulating God, witchcraft, mind-over-matter or sorcery.

Thank God for giving us His Word, the imperishable seed, for when we make His words our own and declare them in faith, then our words are imperishable too. I believe that when we declare the same words about ourselves that God speaks, we'll soon see results in our lives.

PS, I walked around an outback quarry with my family in outback New South Wales in 2004, and the guy who let us in let us hold a gold ingot similar to the ones above. Wow, it was so heavy for such a small object. I thought I just had to share that piece of trivia.